Written by David Corby
“Seek other peoples approval and you will be forever their prisoner” Tao Ti Ching 9
Imagine sipping a cocktail on a beach in the Maldives, or maybe surfing in Hawaii. Is this your ideal of freedom? It is possible to be on that beach and still feel trapped. This article explains why.
Mind Body Medicine applies Eastern wisdom to understand the key issues in modern life. Ancient traditions did not just speak about the problems in life but also about the solutions. In this article we focus on one example – freedom.
The Process of Life
We are born fully expressing ourself, innocent, without pretence. Somewhere in our childhood we lose that. We begin to constrain ourselves, trying to conform to get what we want from the external world. There are several possible motivations for this change.
When we are motivated to seek other peoples’ approval and acceptance or are trying to limit their criticism we will try to live up to their expectations. We will try to not let others down and to do the ‘right’ thing. Our choices become focussed on fitting in with expectations, responsibilities and duties and we will largely disregard what we feel is important for us.
In the process we greatly limit our choices, and may get to a point where we feel stuck, stagnant, irritable, angry and ultimately may come to be depressed.
What is Freedom?
The key problem with this approach to life is that we begin to see ourselves as a product of what we do, not who we are inside. As a result we focus on acting perfectly, being disappointed and critical of ourselves when we don’t reach our high standards. Ultimately this affects our self-esteem.
The essential problem is that we have become the list of things we do, rather than being who we really are inside. This ultimately is because we are unable to accept our ‘inner self’, and feel we need to act perfectly to be acceptable.
What do I mean by ‘inner self’? I mean the self you were as a kid, when you were innocent and unrestrained. This is the essential self. This self is always there. Even when we hide from it ourselves others can often see it.
I remember picking up my daughter for the first time and connecting with her. I realised in that moment that she was unique, different from my son but equally beautiful in her own way. She is now much older but still I can perceive that inner self inside her. It is what drives my love for her. How can you not love it?
If you have never bonded with an infant then perhaps you may have bonded with an animal – a horse or a dog or a cat. Ask yourself why do you love that animal? Is there something unique about it, something tangible and yet hard to explain. This is the same essential self, inner self, spirit or soul – or what ever you want to call it. It is the innate inside of all of us.
I often ask parents whether they would like their child to express fully that innate self or would prefer their child to constrain their expression and try to do only what they think others want. They answer universally that they want their child to fully express themselves. Why then, is it hard for some people to apply that to themselves?
When we see ourselves as that innate self everything changes. We recognise and accept that we are beautiful just as we are, regardless of what we do.
That enables us to BE rather than DO. This is freedom. Freedom is the ability to express ourselves fully in every moment.
In Mind Body Medicine we help people do this through counselling and body work. The counselling helps us understand and the body work helps us connect to the ‘inner self’ in a real tangible way. It is an amazingly effective approach because it works from both directions.
The inner self needs to be more than just an intellectual concept, it must be felt. Like I felt my daughter’s inner self or felt my dog’s inner self, so too must I connect in a tangible way to my own inner self for me to embrace freedom.
Conclusion
Mind Body Medicine recognises that freedom comes from fully expressing the self in each moment. To do that we need to connect with, and appreciate, our innate self. Mind Body Medicine does this through counselling and body work, enabling a client to go beyond the intellectual to feel truly whole again.
David Corby CEO of CCM, teacher of holistic kinesiology and mind body medicine and published author of ‘Finding Joy Within’, ‘Energetic Protection’, ‘Neuropressure’ and numerous accredited courses. David is a registered Acupuncturist, a mind body practitioner and holistic kinesiologist. A world renowned lecturer who teaches in Australia and overseas.
